An Underrated Topps Gem
We dug into the archives and got our hands on two unopened packs of Weird Wheels. Here’s the experience in video form before you dive into the article proper.
The Cards of Weird Wheels
In the pantheon of non-sports cards, you have names like Garbage Pail Kids, Mars Attacks, and Wacky Packages — sets that reached near-legend status. They’re frequently re-issued, re-invented, paid tribute, and fondly remembered by the masses.
And then there are the sets on the fringes.
Brilliant concepts, hall of fame art, funny takes, but they never really caught on, for one reason or another. In the mid-’80s, while Garbage Pail Kids were all the rage (and causing plenty of it), Topps spokesman Norman Liss was reminding people that the company had made plenty of gross-out and monster sets before — Rat Fink cards, Ugly Stickers, Garbage Candy.
And Weird Wheels.
A Quick History of Weird Wheels
In 1980, Topps released a 55-card set of stickers, with art by Gary Hallgren and Norman Saunders featuring monsters and other mysterious creatures and characters, driving an assortment of vehicles, all with punny names and horror-lite themes.
“Fast Frank” features Frankenstein’s monster electrifying himself from a stitched-together car with jumper cables. “Rolls Roach” shows a couple cockroaches in top hats driving around. “Killdozer” featured a spiked-out bulldozer dripping blood with an overjoyed driver. A haunted house jammed into a convertible was given the near-homonym “BOO-ick.”
These were Garbage Pail Kids on cars. Or as cars. Or both.
In fact, if you look at the checklists, you’ll see the layout, color scheme, and design of Weird Wheels closely resembles (and was likely a direct inspiration for) the GPK version.
Weird Wheels, unfortunately, came and went without a ton of fanfare; by 1986, at the figurative dawn of the collecting boom, a full set could be had for $5. In the classified section of the Ann Arbor News, they appeared alongside free walnuts and what should now be considered a suspicious amount of windows:
The artwork is among the best Topps has produced in the last 50 years. There’s clever detail in there, including a Gary Hallgren “GH” Easter egg hidden on card No. 3, “Loco-Motive.” The puns are underrated. The details make you stop and look at the entire piece of art. It’s all very fun, and isn’t that why we do this?
The Collectors of Weird Wheels
Despite the set being filed among the “underappreciated” releases in Topps history, there are plenty of collectors to be found. And some have gone on to luminary status in the worlds of horror, art, and cards.
Steve “Mr. Karswell” Banes was the editor of the IDW Horror imprint. He’s been a collector of Weird Wheels since they were released, as they flowed nicely into his non-sports buying habit.
“By the time Weird Wheels came out,” he says, “I was already a huge fan of You’ll Die Laughing and Wacky Packages, and especially Monster Initials. Everyone I knew was totally into [Weird Wheels], and a big part of my school day was trading card doubles at recess for ones that I didn’t have yet — not to mention putting together the giant puzzle pieces printed on the backs.”
Banes says he would take his allowance, ride his bike to the local Majik Market, “get some candy and a comic book, or rock mag,” and a couple packs of non sport trading cards — including Star Wars and Weird Wheels.
“I also remember getting random Close Encounters cards in a loaf of Wonder Bread,” he says.
Banes credits a subscription to MAD Magazine as his gateway into appreciating the artwork on the cards. “I was very in tune with great artists like Jack Davis, who also did tons of incredible work on trading cards — basically stuff that made me laugh,” he explains. “Norm Saunders is a definite hero of mine.”
Kurt Kuersteiner, another collector, didn’t discover Weird Wheels until around 1990. “I couldn’t believe another monster machine series had come and gone, and I had completely missed it,” Kuersteiner laments. But he made up for lost time, as he quickly started collecting Weird Wheels, along with older sets like Dinosaurs Attack, Toxic High, and Fright Flicks.
Kuersteiner says he doesn’t consider Weird Wheels to be anything close to a failure for not catching on more widely, explaining the cards were only available for six months. “I wish we saw a lot more of those original art series with original concepts, but the sad truth is they are just not as profitable,” Kuersteiner explains. Still, Weird Wheels has clearly retained relevance with a dedicated community of collectors, even 45 years later.
